By now, you’ve likely seen the news and the ensuing hilarious memes that are circling the globe after a tech tycoon got nabbed on a ‘kiss cam’ canoodling with his HR chief – who is not his wife – at a Coldplay concert in the Boston area.

As titillating as the whole sordid story is, my first thoughts were with his no-doubt humiliated wife and their embarrassed children, as well as his company’s mortified (or maybe not) employees. It’s always important to remember the human cost of public shame — and off camera somewhere, there is a family who is suffering right now.

I also thought about the woman in the video and how her reputation and career in human resources is likely shattered. The power dynamic in this story is not equal — he is a Billionaire CEO and she is his employee. And women still suffer disproportionately for these shared transgressions.

As a communicator, I was somewhat relieved for all the people impacted when an apology by the tech CEO circulated quickly online. Until I read it. And quickly realized that despite the speed of the response, it failed miserably to accept full accountability and apologize sincerely. The statement deflected, excused, downplayed, and turned himself into the victim. Everything you should not do as an executive if you’re caught in a gross transgression.

Then I learned that the non-apology apparently wasn’t even issued by the frisky CEO (I am intentionally not naming either executive). He disappeared himself, like the coward he is, from social media as fast as he ducked when the camera caught his extramarital play.

The silence from both people in the video has fueled massive speculation as the media, the public and his employees attempt to fill the void. A damning narrative has been written for them.

There is an art to delivering an effective public mea culpa that I learned over my career. I really wish this to be what he wrote in his apology:

“My behaviour at the Coldplay concert recently was beyond inappropriate and shameful conduct with an employee who reports to me. I violated all my personal values as a man, as a husband and father, and as a leader and employer. I know that my behaviour has harmed the reputation of my company, and everyone in it.

I accept full responsibility.

I have deeply harmed and violated the trust of the people I care about the most and unreservedly apologize. I ask that you give my family and my employee privacy as I work with my Board of Directors to determine my future with the company.”

To quote Coldplay: “Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard.”

 

Feature image: Getty & TikTok @instaagraace